Lain Out

An Announcement of Sorts

Since my meager beginnings on Livejournal way back in 2000, I've rarely felt the need to place a friends only restriction on any of my posts. Rantings about religion, thoughts on those whose paths I've crossed, political opinions and the like...all were thrust into the public arena without a care in the world.

For the most part, that will remain the case. I'm a stubborn gal who speaks her mind and I've never been one to cater my viewpoints to the masses. Take me or leave me, as one rather clever individual once said.

However, as Livejournal grows, I've become increasingly aware of who can happen upon my little slice of the Internet. And, while I normally welcome the opportunity to meet new people and share my writing with whoever cares to read it, its become clear certain topics must remain under wraps.

Discretion is ever important as far as prying eyes are concerned.

As it stands now, if you're not on my friend's list you can read 85% or my posts or so. However, there are certain topics related to life and love that will not be made public.

So, depending on how much you care, you may want to make sure to hit that nice little "add" icon. Otherwise, enjoy.

I Miss You Old Facebook.

Oh strange Facebook guy, didn't you get the hint when I rejected your friendship request the first time?

I guess not since you added me again a few weeks later. Where I left you pending.

You were too smart for me though! You rescinded your request and then tried again, only this time with Facebook messaging action.

But now that you asked, no, I don't remember you from that party three years ago in my dorm.

No, seriously, I don't.


While, I generally have a fantastic memory I don't think I can be faulted for forgetting a few random acquaintances who I only ever chatted with once during a drunken moment in college.

So, yeah, sorry....denied.

Lain Out


This summer, I've been enjoying the fact that I have every weekend off.

Perhaps over compensating for when this was never a possibility at Target, I'm taking advantage of my Saturdays and Sundays by constantly gallivanting on adventures.

So far the highlights have been a weekend at the Berkshires and attending the Mermaid Parade at Coney Island.

I won VIP tickets to the latter courtesy of an essay writing contest (look ma, Bachelors in English is good for something!) so I was able load up on free rum all night while enjoying some burlesque. Honestly, it was probably the best thing I've ever won after that $20 in the Indiana Lottery.

Pretty much the most epic Polaroid I have ever taken.

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Anyone Else Have One to Share?

One of the blogs I frequent is currently having a worst pick up line contest (an internet cookie if you're a member so you know which one!)

The only real rules are it has to have happened to you, it cannot be one of those dumb age old lines and stories count. So, I present to you guys my story, which I never did tell here....
A few years back, I frequented this one bar in my town quite often. I was young, single and it was pretty much the place to meet guys.

Not always the best guys, sometimes not even remotely adequate guys but, well, I was going through a phase.

I wanted make out time and drinks, damn it!

As a result, I endured quite a few awful pick up attempts from being asked "wanna go back to your place?" without even exchanging a single word with this guy prior to that and being told that I'm "so tall and slender!"

Um, thanks?

The best ever though was this gentlemen who had to be in his mid to late thirties. We'll call him Gustav for the hell of it. Gustav had an accent but it sounded sort of like he could be related to Tommy Wiseau from "The Room".

Thankfully, he never yelled at me that I was "tearing him apart!" but in the span of maybe an hour he did try everything he could to impress me.

From telling me he could see himself falling in love with me to inviting me on to what I could only assume was his made up jet plane, he was relentless.

He's South African, his parents are rich, I'd look gorgeous in nothing but diamonds, yada yada yada.

After being lured into the most spastic dance of my life, with full on leg kicks, I excused myself under the age old "have to use the restroom!" and fled into the night.

You think that would be the end of Gustav and his strange pick up attempts, right?

Oh no, my dear Jezzies, oh no!

Cue three years later. I'm in a happy committed relationship and I only frequent the bars now to check out bands.

Gustav though, oh, he's up to his same old tricks.

Here's the kicker though.

1.) Gustav obviously doesn't remember me as he slinks up next to me, ready to try his pick up mastery on the next lady he sees.

2.) His story has completely changed!

Gustav the South African with the jet plane is now Gustav the European who raises bomb sniffing dogs!

Bomb sniffing dogs!

I almost wanted to ask him how he comes up with these personas.

Instead, I asked him how one goes about raising bomb sniffing dogs and when he floundered with his story I laughed, told him "you should of stuck with South Africa" and just walked off.

I imagine Gustav is still somewhere out there but I hope he uses Google or Wiki for some research next time.
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Have to admit, I made a bee line right for the chocolate. It was amazing paired with the Cabernet

I'm in an insanely fantastic mood today. Starting my day off by being paid to attend a wine tasting certainly has a lot to do with it. I'm absolutely stuffed thanks to heaping free portions of delicious chocolate, pasta and pesto chicken sandwiches.

A girl certainly could get used to this sort of thing - probably to the point that I will be so spoiled after this job that no regular 9 to 5 will ever satisfy me.

Ahh well, I will simply have to savor it while it lasts.

In other goods news, I took Friday off to drive Liam to Poughkeepsie so he could finally get his driver's license. He passed with flying colors which led to celebratory Chinese food and Abita Root Beer.

Life will be much easier now that he can just borrow the Yaris for assorted jobs and gigs. I'm hoping that he will be able to talk to one of the owners of a local bar about hosting their Open Mic night at least once a month since that's relatively good money for a few hours work...even with some of the crazy locals it draws.

Combine all of this with the fantastic summer-esque weather we've been having and its like I'm "walking on sunshine!" ;P

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Lain Out

What Happens on FB Chat During a Lull at Work

Liam and I somehow managed to have a spontaneous rhyme/rap battle while I was at work. This is one reason why I keep the kid around ;P


Liam I don't care what you say... when in a bouncy castle you shouldn't wear cleats!

Me: We're poets and didn't even know it

Liam you act like I didn't know everything I embark up are feats

Me:I will write about this in Twitter with what are known was tweets

Liam While I cut off your feets

Me: I will then fight you in a skirt that has pleats

Liam You can't win in a rap battle 'cus i got mad beats

Me: Oh, I will fight you on the mean streets

Liam Hah, you'll just bore me by recounting your defeats

Me: Oh, I will destroy you with a demon goat that bleats

Liam Bah, my rhyme's will thrust you back into your seats

Me: Psh, your rhymes have no real heat

LiamYou'll run in fear just like all your past retreats

Me: You think so but your threats are weak like wheat

Liam You shit's so weak why don't you go back to suckling from teats

Me: How bout I just beat you upside the head with meat?
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Lain Out

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I need to start challenging myself to take more Polaroids.

I had been hoarding a bunch of film since its uncertain future was announced but now that production will resume on a new type I figure there's no better time to start pulling more packs out of the fridge.

I don't want to do a picture a day challenge as the film was too expensive for that but maybe one a week on top of random ones when I'm inspired. I'll definitely be taking quite a few at the Mermaid Parade in Brooklyn this June.

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Who Has a Job? This Girl!

On Thursday, I start a new job working with the Hudson Valley Wine Fest.

As part of my new gig, I will be writing for their blog as well as be maintaining their Facebook and their Twitter.

Take a peek and friend/follow any if you'd like - the more the merrier as they say!

Naturally, I am immensely excited by this new prospect not only because it will be my first job since fleeing the clutches of Tar-jay but because it is actually something I want to do. It may have taken almost three years since I received my BA in English and Journalism but I'm finally putting it do good use.

The only downside to this job is that it probably will not go past September. I have my fingers crossed that I will wow them to such a degree they cannot even fathom getting rid of me but I am also being realistic.

I actually turned a full time job down for this which may have been risky but was also what my heart wanted. The full time job would have been more secure but it was also retail again.

This, while less hours and less stable in the long run, is more money and what a job I passionately want.

So, fingers crossed.
Lain Out

So What's Everyone's Favorite "Good" Bad Movie?

Slate Magazine published an article today on what makes a bad movie "good." Considering my long running tradition of hosting bad movie nights, this article was right up my alley.

However, I have one important bit of commentary to make on it:

Birdemic is no The Room

Sure, Birdemic has some hilarious moments but the first forty minutes are incredibly boring. By the time the poorly CGI'd birds finally do show up you've about lost interest. Overall, there's not much to set it apart from a bad TV movie except that I would be more likely to find Bruce Campbell amongst the cast of a made for Sci-Fi flick.

So, really, advantage Sci-Fi channel there.

In comparison, The Room is a roller coaster of non-stop hilarity and insanity. The characters are ridiculous, the throw away subplots are insane, the lines immensely quotable and the ending is one of the most bizarre things you'll ever be witness to.

In the end though, there's just one thing that makes The Room far superior. Simply put, The Room obviously tried to be a good movie but fell far short while Birdemic was trying too hard to be a funny bad movie.

Cult classics are chosen Birdemic, not made. Sorry.

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